Black and Blue in Space
by toomanypickles
Summary: Three years after they saved the world Maria and Albel both find themselves lost, searching for something.
1. Fallen

'How the great have fallen.' She thinks.

Three years ago she was saving the universe, or what they believed to be a universe until then. She was discovering truths and fighting evil. She was a rebel, a leader, trying to protect people from a corrupt federation.

And now she was working for one.

'That's unfair. It's not corrupt.' She tells herself one more time. No, this time it is different; this time it will work. This time we know better. There are good people at the top this time.

This time.

She could have been one of them; a leader again. They were all given the chance, the choice. She chose obscurity.

She had hoped for obscurity. For a small ship to command, the occasional mission, a duty to be done for the New Federation. She had wanted to disappear, to be left to her own devices. She wanted to choose the rest of her life, because too much of it had been chosen for her.

And to an extent she got what she asked for. Her own ship, a minor post. But she couldn't escape her fame. Everyone in the Federation knew the faces of their heroes. The faces plastered across screens all over the galaxies, the ones who would forever be remembered. The ones who had saved the world, the galaxy – everything. They would never know the truth.

That was what she hated most.

It was what they had decided – that no one need ever know the truth. That they were… nothing. Data.

She took her ship as far away as possible. She tried to avoid contact with the worlds, with everyone. Maybe that was why her crew hated her. They had signed on to become heroes, to work under one of the greatest women of all time – and all she did was run away.

Three years, she had been faced with impossible odds, an impossible truth, the Creator himself, and she had never turned and run. That was easy.

What she couldn't face was the life that followed.

She was glad to return to Elicoor. It was a planet full of wilderness and empty spaces. Riddled with caves and mines, it was the perfect place to run and hide.

It was what she needed – to be alone. She needed to be herself.


	2. Elicoor

She offered them a place in the New Federation.

She hated that it was called that. The Federation still. They had insisted on remembering the past, so that it would not be repeated, but all she wanted to do was return to that past.

The leaders of Elicoor gathered. One by one they arrived at their places around the stone table. They sat there to discuss and she waited.

She was waiting.

She watched them, observed but never commented. She loved the people of the Sanmite Republic best, the mermaids and fairies, and rabbits in boots. They were fairy tales come to life.

The moon rises over the gardens, the cliffs, and all is blue and magical in the night.

She didn't want them to join the Federation; she wanted the leaders to decide against it. She was afraid Elicoor would be lost – its fairy tales giving way to science. She feared for this world of knights and dragons in the Federation. But she had made her choice, so that she no longer had to now. She no longer had a voice in these decisions.

All she had to do was memorize this moment, crystalline in the moonlight, pale and enchanting.

She shivered.


	3. The Decision

**This is a story I want to tell. Of course, I have no idea how exactly I want to tell it, so please, don't expect too much out of it.**

**

* * *

**"Yes." 

She wandered then. She wanted to remember the world as it was. Innocent and pure, before it could become just another planet amongst the hundreds of others in the Federation. She was so afraid of losing the planet that she didn't notice when she lost herself.

She woke up in a field and kept walking. She soon remembered it. Kirlsa, the mining town, the city of dust and sun, lay behind her, the training center ahead. She would reach the top and call her ship, just as they had done three years ago. They had so much purpose then.

She had, for some reason, hoped to find new purpose there. Somehow, she thought, by revisiting the places of the past, she would regain the same old determination. Once she reached the top. The Sky.

She never expected to find him there.

Albel.


	4. Once but Never Again

They fight, because its all he knows now.

Once he knew love

he knew family and warmth. A home

arms to return to. He knew

eternity in her eyes and infinity in

her naked body, in their bed.

Once he had known

a future because of

her. Once he might have grown a garden

in the summer and love in the cold winter

nights. She would bake for the children, he

would teach them to be brave.

Once he was brave.

But now the past and the future are gone,

and he has seen infinity elsewhere; in the stars.

Now all that exists is this moment, and the

thrill of naked steel, and the need

to get off this godforsaken rock.

Into the skies.


	5. Distance

It was an accident that he got onto the ship. A mistake.

She wanted distance. They fought, and she, she tried to gain distance, as she always did.

He pushed her. He fought up close and personal. She could feel his breath, or maybe it was the wind from his katana. He was too close.

He wasn't supposed to get on, but he was too close.

And she needed distance.


	6. Freedom

She rises to the surface slowly. Opens her eyes like a flower unfolding in the light. But it is dark in her room.

She knows it is night because of the silence.

Like a sleepwalker she stands and walks down the hall, silent despite the heavy boots she wears. She doesn't know where she is going until she gets there.

He is awake. Alone in the ship, they are waking.

"I never told anyone." She tells him.

His scarlet eyes don't seem to blink. His anger cannot be contained by his eyelids. But it can be contained by this force field that separates them. She puts her hand on it, inviting him.

It is cold to the touch.

"You disappeared." She says. He nods. "I never could. As hard as I try."

His eyes glitter like ruby in the dim light overhead. She watches them, wondering how eyes can look so much like stone.

The force field disintegrates under her fingers.

"I'm leaving." She tells him.

He doesn't answer, but he follows her to the shuttle. Sits next to her as they fly away.

He smiles to be free at last.


	7. He wonders

And now he wonders why.

Why did he follow? He is no longer sure of his thoughts in that moment she let him go free. He could then have chosen to do anything, but he had followed her, without violence, against his character. He should have killed her, really, for locking him up. But in that moment he didn't feel violent at all somehow. He was calm.

He wonders why she told him, invited him to go with her at all. She didn't care for him, just as he didn't care for her. When last they traveled together it was simply because of a common cause, and hardly even that. She was determined to be a hero, and he was just looking for a good fight. In all that time they had spent together three years ago, they had hardly exchanged two words.

He wonders, why she doesn't return him to Elicoor. She had told him to go back, when they were fighting, while her ship approached. He wonders, why didn't she kill him? In that split second when she had the chance, the little distance needed to get a clear shot. The barrel aimed at the middle of his forehead… but she did nothing. And so he was here.

He wonders why, in this light, does she look so much like his wife?


	8. Going Wrong

The silence eats at her. It fills her, gives her too much time to think. To realize, to remember, to dread.

"I'm malfunctioning."

Albel looks mildly surprised. "Can we land nearby, fix whatever is wrong? Or are we going to die only days after your great escape?"

He sounds almost happy, contemplating their death. He's certainly enjoying her failure. But he's wrong.

Maria shakes her head. "There's nothing wrong with the shuttle. It's me. Just me and my… It doesn't work properly anymore."

Albel's expression quickly reverts back to his usual bored look, and he looks away. Leans lazily back in his seat and stretches out his skinny body. He is the picture of indifference, she thinks, but she goes on anyway. If she was alone she would probably be speaking to herself, at least with Albel there she wouldn't feel so insane.

"A few weeks ago I accidentally altered the state of one of my engineer's arms. He can't pick up a fork without dislocating his elbow now. I never thought to do it – I hardly even touched him. There's something wrong."

She looks over at Albel. He looks slightly annoyed, picking under the nails of his good hand with his claw.

Why tell him this?

Then again, why not tell him?

Maria charts a new course.


	9. Moonbase

He is disappointed to land on a planet he has already seen. It's not even a planet, only a construction of metal and light.

Moonbase.

He leaves her as soon as they land. She heads one way, so he heads off in the other direction. He is not interested in talk.

He wanders, not lost, but not intending to be found. This metal world is still so strange, so alien. It is nearly silent, aside from the click and whirr of the machines around him. It is as close to peace as he's felt in some time.

Boring.

Where are the great hulking metal constructs that once attacked them? The seraphs come to announce the death of man? Where is the excitement?

A scream shatters the peace. And then another, and another. A string of violent outbursts, pent up frustration and despair working its way out into the open.

He finds Maria by the computer, in the research lab. She is glaring at the screen intently, and doesn't acknowledge his presence behind her. He considers, for a moment, killing her, one blow to end her pathetic life forever… But then he would be stuck here.

So he watches, and he waits.

"There must be more!" Maria yells at the screen, but it yields no answers. It stays blank, silent, uncaring. There is no love in a machine.

Albel watches as Maria takes out her gun and shoots a hole in the screen, then another into the console, and another and another and another… Gunshots ring out like screams in the air until there is nothing left but smoke.

And then, when there is nothing, they leave.

He hopes the next planet is sunny.


	10. Ash

The food on her tongue tastes like ash. Maybe it is ash. She could have done that.

They landed on a wild planet six days ago, and since then she has been alone most of the time. Albel leaves early in the morning and returns at night, once she is pretending to sleep.

All she does is pretend now.

"What am I doing?" she wonders, not for the first time. "Why run? What is there worth running from?"

Sunlight pours through the foliage onto the forest floor in dappled patterns of gold and she wonders.

She is not in opposition to this new Federation. She supports it; she was involved in its creation. She hopes it will do well- she knows it will, with people like Cliff and Sophia and Fayt at the top.

She sees Fayt's face in her mind as he turns…

He turned away.

The sunlight tastes like ash on her tongue.


	11. pretend sleep

He knows she's not sleeping. When he returns at night and lies down in the bed across the tiny rm. She lays there and pretends, but he knows. He gets into bed and does the same. He waits in the dark.

They are both waiting.

What is she waiting for?

He waits for her to fall asleep, but she never does. He remembers his wife, who never fell asleep first. She told him it was because she snored, and she didn't want him to hear. She told him it was so that she could watch him sleeping, because he looked so peaceful when he was sleeping, she said, even more beautiful.

He always tried to stay awake, to outlast her, but he never could.


	12. Waste

"What do you find out there?" She asks.

"Go find it yourself."

"I'm thinking."

"What a waste of time."

They pretend to sleep. Pretend to be normal. Which, after all, is what she wanted.


	13. Guard

They left after the second week, because they needed supplies. She still hadn't figured anything out, and he had fallen asleep before her every night.

She wanted music.

They reached a Federation Station and docked, planning to restock and be off again. She wanted to find a stereo to install in the shuttle. Something to fill the silences that seemed to last forever. It felt like there was forever between them, and she wondered what that meant. She wondered if it was a good thing.

She was recognized. She should have known better. She should have thought. She was led back to her duty by an unnamed officer, who told her everyone worried about her disappearance. She insisted Albel stay with her when they tried to take him away; she told them he was her bodyguard. As if she needed a bodyguard for her body.

What she needed was a guard for her mind.


	14. Morning

They put him in the same room as her. He had the bed closer to the door, so that he separated her from the people in the station.

It was because of her, because she told them he was her bodyguard that he was there, but all the same she looked surprised to see him the next morning when she woke.

"Why are you keeping me here?" he asked, glaring at her accusingly.

"Am I keeping you here?" She answered with another question. She still looked surprised. Maybe that's just how she woke up. "I never meant to. You can leave if you want."

He shrugs. "You will still travel." He lies back on his bed, feet away from hers, where last night he heard her crying.


	15. Apathy

"Where is your ship?" They ask. She shrugs.

"Where did he come from?" They ask, staring at Albel's strange clothing. She shrugs.

"How did you end up alone?" They ask. She shrugs.

She wasn't really alone.

Eventually they give up, hand her over to the commander. He asks the same questions, and still she shrugs.

Albel is restless. He shifts from one foot to the other, tosses his hair too often. Maria waits in stillness.

The commander sighs. "We've reported your reappearance to headquarters, but we're still waiting for a reply. Do what you like until then."

She goes to the deck, to look out into space. How familiar it all seems, yet how strange. The people who wander about, they are all strangers, but she feels as though she knows them. They are people she has known once.

He joins her there after some time, still staring out the window.

"Will you run again?" he asks, looking not at her, but the infinite stretching out in front of them, beyond the glass. Or maybe he is looking at their reflection in the glass…

She shrugs.

"Don't give me that as well, worm." He snarls, laying a threatening hand on the hilt of his katana.

Maria sighs and shakes her head. "Why bother? There's no where I can go that they won't find me."

But he doesn't believe her.


	16. Something More

"Maria, where have you been?" Cliff asks, his image spread across the screen.

"Around." She answers with a shrug.

"It's not like you to go off on your own without even telling anyone. It makes you look like you were running away."

Maria frowns. "I miss my new crew – this new one hates me."

"How can they hate you if you're never around?"

She doesn't stop frowning.

Cliff sighs. "Head for Rezerb. The Erinia is already on her way there; you can meet up with your crew again once you get there. Play nice this time why don't you?"

"Why are we going to Rezerb?" Maria asks. "Hasn't it been blacklisted for the Prime Minister's terror tactics?"

Cliff scratches his head. "Yeah, well… The Prime Minister has realized how much he would like to be a part of the Federation. He says he's willing to negotiate with us, so it's your job to make sure he joins up peacefully – and on our terms."

"Is this it Cliff?" Maria asks. "After all those years we spent fighting the Federation, only to become a part of this one. Is this all we get?"

"This is different."

"Is it?" She asks, looking for reassurance, for an excuse.

"Maria… If you want to quit, no one will stop you. You are always free, just as I'm free to my part in this. Heck, you can form a resistance if you like – a New Quark. You can do that. But if you doubt yourself, than don't stay. Don't force yourself."

She droops, falling under the weight of choice. "I just feel like we were meant for something more." She says weakly.

But he doesn't hear. His face blurs and then the screen goes blank.


	17. Easier

It's a cold planet. A military planet.

It feels like home.

He stands in the winds, breathing the current. He feels ready for a hunt, for a slaughter, but this place is no good for it.

He stares down at the ground, a hundred feet below. No people wander the streets here – they are all inside. They have gone to ground. This is the center of the empire, the seat of power.

And here he is powerless, unable even to control his destination.

He could jump.

The thought passes through his mind, coming unexpectedly. He quickly dismisses it. Why bother? After this long, after having survived all the battles, after having lost everything he cared for and continued on, why waste all that effort on such a death?

Easier still to turn back and continue.


	18. Wrong

Everything has gone wrong.

The Prime Minister was supposed to be civil, willing at least to negotiate joining to Federation. Despite being labeled as a terrorist he had agreed to make a new start, having seen the benefits that would come from joining this new federation. Having learned that this new federation would not stand by while he oppressed so many, he was willing to change his ways.

Instead he had taken their weapons, and put them in a cage, disguised as a lovely suite above the city. The Erinia had not arrived yet, so they were alone, without any defenses but their own, and she foolishly had believed there was still a chance for negotiations. She still hoped. It was why she stayed, because she had decided to believe.

Besides, her ship was on the way.


	19. Silly

The Prime Minister walks in, accompanied by his usual thugs; give men, taller and broader than seems possible. Maria laughed when she first saw them. She said it wasn't possible – not naturally. And then she looked at her own hands.

"Good evening Maria." The Prime Minister says, ignoring Albel. Maria doesn't move from her seat by the window, doesn't even look away from the view outside. Albel, lounging on a couch between the two of them, watches closely. "You are enjoying the view?" The Prime Minister asks. He starts to move across the room towards her. "You know, I could show you a much nicer view from my room."

Albel stands and blocks his way to Maria, playing the role of bodyguard. He rather enjoys it at moments like these, glaring down at this pathetic excuse for a man, afraid of him even with his own bodyguards in the room, even when Albel is unarmed.

"Leave him alone." Maria says dully, still staring out the window. "He doesn't scare me."

Albel shrugs and moves away, falling back onto the couch. He hardly moved out of concern for her, but let her believe what she likes...

"You know, we don't often get traffic in our skies." The prime Minister says, playing with the collar of his shirt, walking to stand right behind Maria, leaning over her shoulder. "But this very morning a strange ship appeared."

Maria looks up at the sky, as though checking for that ship.

The Prime Minister laughs. His laugh crawls over skin like so many tiny little bugs. "You won't find it, my dear; upon realizing that it was not one of our own, it was shot down. I seem to have forgotten to mention to my men to expect a Federation ship. How silly of me." He smiles, victorious.

"How silly indeed." Maria says quietly.

"So you see, it's just you and me now." The Prime Minister leans further over Maria, touching her neck, her cheek.

Albel stands, ready to kill him. Still Maria does not move.

It is then that something peculiar happens. The Prime Ministers hand melts. The effect spreads up his arm, and all through his body, his eyes widening in horror as he realizes what is happening, until they too melt out of his head. As the last of his skull turns to liquid Maria stands and puts her boot in the puddle that was once a man.

"I seem to have forgotten to mention; if you touch me you will die." She says coldly, glaring at the five thugs standing near the doorway, all of whom have guns aimed at her head. She takes a step towards them, and there is a loud noise as five weapons go off all at once.

Somehow Maria dodges every shot, without seeming to dodge at all. She quickly disarms and disables the thugs while Albel watches on, mildly amused. He hadn't expected her to be so brutal. After acting so passive for so long, he had thought she had lost her edge.

Maria throws a gun to Albel and takes two more for herself. She doesn't wait for him before running out the door.

They fight their way to the shuttles, Albel quickly discovering how different guns are than his katana. He prefers close combat by far, watching his enemy's face as they realize their end has come…

Though he didn't find the information too useful at the time.

Maria opens the radio as soon as they get in to her shuttle. "This is Maria Traydor, to any federation ships nearby. One battleship down on Rezerb – status unknown. Rezerb is no longer a peaceful planet. It never was. Be cautious when dealing with it. Also the Prime Minister had been murdered."

She puts down and concentrates on the controls. Albel allows himself a smile as once again they are free.


	20. Enough

"You're not going back?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

"They destroyed your ship! I was under the impression that even worms like you had a sense of honor – a taste for vengeance at least!"

Maria glares at him. She had never realized what a stupid man Albel really was until now. "Don't you think killing the leader of the empire was enough? Is that enough 'vengeance' for you? Or will you never be satisfied, no matter how much blood is on your sword and hands?"

"Yes well, I don't seem to have a sword, as you put it, anymore." Albel replies, leaning back in his chair casually, further angering Maria with his lazy demeanor. "Since you so cleverly walked us into a trap."

Maria stands, hardly taller than Albel, even while he is sitting. "You think I'm incompetent, is that it? Then how about you pilot the ship to the next Federation station?"

She stomps out of the room; the doors hissing open and shut after her, leaving Albel alone with the controls.


	21. Crash

**I can't get Maria to invent items with Albel; she just falls alseep. -Le sigh-**

* * *

She wakes up without at first knowing why.

The reason soon becomes apparent as she notices the knife sticking out of her pillow, millimeters away from her neck and the rather important artery flowing there. She takes in this fact, along with the tall man standing over her bed glaring down at her, in a second.

"What the hell?" She demands as she sits up, careful not to cut herself and careful not the show Albel that she is being careful. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Don't get complacent. Don't think you've got me tamed," He spits out angrily, leaning forward slightly until she can feel his breath, hot on her cheeks. "You can't control me."

But Maria is not listening.

She holds the pillow up and pulls out the knife, frowning at the hole in the fabric. "I'm going to have to sew this back together now! Thanks a lot, you jerk!"

He strides out of her room, muttering insults under his breath. Why did he ever think it was a remotely good idea to follow that woman into space? Even with the chance to escape Elicoor, being stuck with her was hardly worth it. He would kill if only he knew how to pilot the ship…

"Asshole!" Her voice resounds down the hall behind him. He pauses, ready to go back and kill her; forget the consequences, it would be worth it.

That's when everything goes red.

She rushes out of her room and for one second they stand in the hallway, staring at each other. Then she rushes past him and to the bridge just in time to be thrown against the back of a seat. "What did you do?" She yells over the insistent beeping noises. She turns to glare at Albel who leans against the door nonchalantly, as if he hadn't also been knocked off his feet by the shaking shuttle.

"Nothing."

He watches as she hurriedly pushes buttons, struggling to gain control as her small body is thrown about by the tremors running through the ship.

"When I told you to pilot the ship, I didn't think you would be stupid enough to actually touch anything! If I had realized how-" She stops her angry muttering in mid sentence, just as the shuttle stops shaking and the room returns to its normal state. She stands straight again and exhales a deep breath. For a moment she is silent, before whirling to glare at Albel. It seems to be her favorite expression. "Did you not think? Did you not think it might be the intelligent to do to warn me when we're going through the atmosphere WITH NO SHIELDS ON!" She yells, her voice surprisingly loud, sounding unnatural coming from her.

Albel approaches her menacingly, until he is standing very close, his face almost directly above hers, glaring down at her. He is sick of her attitude, her mightier-than-thou way of telling him off. Still she does not back down, she does not stop glaring.

"You're lucky I don't believe in capital punishment – because I would kill you." Maria snarls through gritted teeth.

"You're lucky I don't know how to pilot a ship, or you would have been dead long ago." He replies.

Maria makes a frustrated noise and turns back to the control panel. "Because you don't know how to pilot a ship – or even how to know when it's in trouble – I now not only have to fix my pillow but the whole damn shuttle! The outer structure is basically gone to hell, the decelerators, the engine… fuck." She slams a fist against the control panel where a dozen red lights are blinking on and off, and warning texts flash across screens all over.

"If you had been paying attention…" Albel starts to say, but he is cut off when Maria turns and throws the knife he had killed her pillow with at him. The knife turns to dust in the air between them. Maria yells again and points threateningly at Albel.

"I don't need you! You're the one who needs me, so if you would just shut the hell up and not touch anything ever again, I might let you stay!"

"Why am I here?" Albel asks, his mind already jumping to other topics.

Maria says nothing.

"We both know why I'm here- to escape from Elicoor, but why did you let me follow? You practically invited me to go with you. If you hate me so much, then why have you encouraged this situation?"

"Old times' sake."

Albel snorts. "We have no 'old times' sake' – there was never a time we got along. If I remember correctly, you would refuse to even invent with me. What reason could ever convince you to share a small ship with me?"

Maria is silent, glaring at him, but he thinks that maybe he's not the one she's really glaring at. He raises his eyebrows at her and she snaps. "I don't know ok? Just leave me alone!" She yells, stomping past him and down the hall to the engine room. He doesn't follow, uncomfortable with the thoughts his curiosity has incited in himself.


	22. Can you fix it?

"This is bad."

The smoke rising from the hull of the ship is blown up and away in the icy wind that blows across the mountain cliff they somehow landed on.

"How long will it take to fix?" Albel asks, watching the wreckage with Maria.

She gives him an annoyed look and considers hitting him, but then decides that he really doesn't know any better. She throws her hands in the air helplessly and sighs. "I don't know if I _can _fix it – out here with no spare parts, no source of power but the ship itself… we might just have to hope we can radio someone to come pick us up."

Albel shields his eyes as he looks at the sky. He looks so serious, as though he could actually see a ship out there that Maria almost laughs.

Almost.

He turns to Maria after a minute and asks, "Can't you just use your power to fix it?"

She stares at him for a moment, wondering if he's being serious. "I might be able to fix it. But then, considering the state of my control lately, I wouldn't trust it to work. And not kill us."

Albel shrugs.


	23. Fight!

Maria swore. She swore so often and in such great quantity that it no longer sounded to Albel like the same language. Or even language at all.

"This is impossible!" she yelled from deep inside the engine room, the first understandable words she had spoken all day. "I never thought that it was even possible for one man – no matter how stupid he is – to inflict so much damage!"

"Then stop thinking about him." Albel answered calmly. She had told him to do what he could with the hull, so he spent his time outside, trying to patch up the holes and dents in the metal. It wasn't easy work, and it didn't put him in a good mood either.

"Him?" Mari asked, her head appearing from the nest of machinery. "Who are _you _referring to?"

"Fayt."

"What do you know about it?" Maria asks scornfully, already turning back to her work, determined to ignore Albel.

"I know that you dream about him." Albel pursued. Maria stopped and turned to face him. "Dreams vivid enough to make you call his name out in your sleep. What is it you dream about? Are you having sex with him in your dreams?" Albel asked, spitting the words at her, as though the thought was so repulsive he wanted it out of himself as quickly as possible. "Does he fuck you?"

Maria stood and pointed a wrench menacingly at Albel. "If you want to fight, just say so. There's no need to be crude."

"This from the woman with a fouler mouth than a soldier." Albel muttered, jumping back as Maria lunged at him swinging her wrench, having already decided that _she _wanted to fight. The blow grazed Albel's arm, but it still drew blood. He grinned at Maria who just lunged again.

Albel fought back. He grabbed a crowbar off the ground and started swinging too, until they were both trying to club the other to death. The only difference was that Maria still tried to stay away from Albel. He tried to get in close, as was his preference, but she always danced away. Any time he tried to hit her with his claw, or kick her, she would jump away. Although he managed to get some good swings in with his crowbar, he couldn't touch her. He found that she was actually making herself more vulnerable, trying to avoid his touch.

"Why won't you let me touch you!" He yelled, surprising Maria into stillness. They stood, panting, staring at each other.

"I – I don't want to break you." Maria said hesitantly, as if just realizing this herself as she spoke.

"Oh really? You could have fooled me." Albel answered dryly, holding out his bloodied arm.

Maria stared at it for a minute before dropping her wrench. "You're right. I don't know what I'm doing. You're right…" She said, and Albel didn't think she was talking about killing him anymore.


	24. May be souls

"On Earth, you can't see the stars anymore." Maria said, staring at the sky.

Albel watched her, the moonlight tracing her pale jaw line, the curve of her neck. His eyes strayed to the bandages on her bare shoulders and arms, on her thigh.

He hadn't seen his own wife in such a state of undress until after they were married. She had said something about the stars too.

"She believed they were the souls of the dead, but they aren't are they? They're soulless – they have no meaning."

"Soulless?" Maria repeated. She stared at the sky a while longer and then a small smile reached her lips. "Maybe. But maybe not."


	25. Blinding light

Maria gave up. "My scanner shows signs of civilization not too far from here. A fairly big town. This is an underdeveloped planet, but they might have something at least… We'll take the radio with us just in case."

She lets Albel take the radio. Her power has gotten worse lately; she's afraid she'll break the radio if she touches it.

They leave in the morning towards the sun that hurts her eyes.


	26. Nothing

"In my dreams he's always turning away." She says.

Albel says nothing.

"I… I told him I love him. I loved him. But he turned away. He turned to her. To Sophia. I guess I should have known. I could never be her; I could never beat her. It was stupid wasn't it? To think… I couldn't stand it."

She is glad he says nothing.


	27. Green

Her face is bright red in the morning. He holds his hand to her cheek while she's sleeping and he can feel the heat rising off her.

She wakes up to find him sitting nearby, crushing leaves with the hilt of his sword. Her face feels like it's on fire.

He holds out the sharp smelling greenish mush to her, an offering of peace. "If it's like the plant it resembles on Elicoor, it should help with your sunburn." He says by way of explanation. She takes the concoction and eyes it dubiously before spreading a bit on her cheeks.

"Or it might be poison and kill you." Albel adds as an afterthought. "Either way, it's a win-win situation."

Maria makes a face at him and sits still for a minute to see if she felt any different. It didn't feel worse anyway, so she went on applying it.

"So who is she?" she asked carelessly, lured into a feeling of security by his helpful actions, and paying more attention to her burns than to her mouth. "The woman who told you the stars are souls?"

Albel is silent. Maria doesn't look up, wondering what exactly she had just asked, wondering if she had overstepped her bounds. The moment had felt so calm, so friendly, she hadn't even thought before asking.

"My wife." Albel answers after a while.

Maria feels faint all of a sudden. She puts the crushed plant down, doubting its health benefits. "You have a wife?" she asks incredulously. "You left a wife behind?"

Albel shakes his head. "No. She left me." He stands abruptly and walks away, into the forest, until he is out of sight.

Maria sits for another minute, and then starts to scrape the ridiculous green paste off her face.


	28. Gone forever

He wasn't coming back; she was sure of it. He was never coming back.

She waited still, for what felt like forever – just in case – despite her brain telling her to go, despite her heart telling her he was gone, despite her gut telling her to run after him. She was still.

It was better this way in any case. She could be alone at last, what she been looking for. She had wanted peace, and quiet. It's what she wanted after all…

She waited for an eternity, but he never came.


	29. Can't think that

When he got back and found her gone he felt a moment of irrational panic. Something close to worry even.

A voice in his head told him she was just hiding. Remember how she likes to hide sometimes before you get home, so you can find her. Remember how when you find her, she'll smile and kiss you and…

He growls at his memories. They should stay in the past where they belong, but lately he's been confusing them with the present. He's beginning to think that maybe he is going mad, just like they always said he would. They said he was.

He doesn't call her name. She might think he cares.

She can't think he cares.


	30. Death

It wasn't until she found a spring that she realized how dirty she was. She noticed her smell, stuck to her skin with the leftovers of green paste and thought 'No wonder he ran away' and smiled a quick little smile to herself. A private smile.

The cold water felt like heaven on her sun burnt skin. She swam to the bottom and held her breath, counting the moments until she would have to emerge again to breathe.

She wondered if death felt this way. Cold, weightless, a little ticklish as bubbles broke against her skin. What would it feel like to float in space, she wondered. Maybe she could do it, if she could somehow figure out a way to keep it from killing her. Maybe she could.

She swam to her clothing, thinking to wash them as well, when she heard a noise in the woods around her. Without changing her pace she reached for her clothing and grabbed her gun.

A shot. A cry.

She didn't hit him. "Come out and the next one won't be in your skull." She called. "I'm sure you realize that it was no accident the first one missed."


	31. In Sane

It was enough to drive him insane, if he wasn't already. How would he know if he was mad or sane?

It was the sight of her in the water, drowning herself. Her shoulders were bright pink, and the water droplets that clung to her skin blinded him when the sun reflected off them, when she turned just so.

He wanted to be a drop of water just then.

He had to remind himself who she was, who she was not. He told himself to stop confusing memories with reality.

But maybe he wasn't mad.

What if – he knew exactly what he was doing? He knew what he wanted. He knew who he was.

He sat with his back against the trunk of a tree as she dressed and walked away with the boy she had caught peeping.

And he thought, 'If she had caught me, what then?'


	32. Something Useful

It's not as though she's found anything here to help, anything useful, but it's nice to be around people again.

'How pathetic, to be lonely after so little time alone.'

How sad, to still be lonely.

The people are kind to her, and gentle. They don't know quite what to make of her, dressed so strangely, appearing out of nowhere in the forest.

She feels like she is back on Elicoor, three years ago, somehow. That feeling of being out of place, in a medieval world, that's what it is. She feels like maybe her life still has some purpose after all. Something more somehow.

So maybe she has found something useful.


	33. Fragments

She became a sort of wonder in town. The girl from the forest. The blue haired woman with the strange clothing. A devil. A faerie. A being from another world. No one could agree on what she was exactly. She doubted they would believe her if she told them she was just a girl. Not even a woman yet, not really.

It didn't help that she refused to allow anyone near her. That she reacted so violently when the boy who brought her to the town tried to touch her.

She was a mystery, even to herself.


	34. Hurt

She was looking at the sky thinking she should head back to her ship soon when the boy came in. He stood in the doorway for a minute before coming forward.

"Maria." He reached out for a second before pulling back. "I… I want to help you. I don't know who hurt you, but I just wanted to say; I'll protect you. I'll never let anyone hurt you again."

She stared at him for one slow minute, and was suddenly gripped by a mad urge to laugh.

She didn't laugh. She knew too well how much it hurt.

"Thank you Tam," she answered solemnly, "but I really don't need protecting. You don't need to worry about me, please."

He looked almost disappointed, and she did not look away.


	35. Return to me

She wakes up with a hand at her throat. She tries to jump back quickly, to get away, but she feels heavy and can't move. It takes her a moment to realize it is Albel, pinning her down.

"Don't touch me!"

Albel smirks. "A little late for that now isn't it?"

"I don't-"

"What are you afraid of?" He hisses, cutting her off. His hand on her neck doesn't tighten, doesn't move away. It lies there, distracting her. "Are you really so concerned for my safety, or are you just afraid of me?"

"You don't scare me Albel Nox." She spits at him. He smiles as her saliva hits his cheek.

"Then you like me."

She glares, but says nothing.

He raises an eyebrow and shakes his head. "Fine. You can do what you like, but I still need you to get me off this godforsaken rock of a planet, so I'd say it's about time we were leaving. That ship isn't going to fix itself."

His hand slides down her neck to her collar and he drags her out of bed, just as he dragged her out of sleep.

He waits as she dresses and writes a thank you to the people who took care of her, and all the while she thinks, 'He came back."


	36. Perviness

**Oh my, perviness.**

**

* * *

**Silence, but for the twigs snapping underfoot, and the wind whistling through the trees. 

He should know what to say. He knows what he wants. He wants her – so why can't he have her? Why can't he move towards her? He is silent – dumb.

He wants to touch her again. He can still feel the soft skin of her neck under his fingers, enough to leave him wanting more. He would jump on her now, run his hands through her hair, down her neck, her spine, along her legs… If only he could get his own body to move.


	37. Secret

A secret

Secret even to my mind

Especially to my mind

My stomach and heart both agree

But my brain still refuses

I wonder how long it can hold out.

Because my heart beats so furiously

it pushes out

pushes me forward

And my stomach pulls me toward him.

Still – this isn't happening.

It isn't rational

It isn't normal

It isn't what I want

what I wanted.

That's what my brain says.

But I change things.

I can alter anything.

So why couldn't I change myself?


	38. Dangerous

Climbing up the mountain, she cries out suddenly. He turns and sees her falling, the rock he had just climbed over crumbling under her fingers.

She watches him, thinking how dangerous she really is – at least she's only injured herself this time. Thinks how funny it is that Albel should be the one, the only one, to see her die. Her own fault. She wonders, how can she fall so long, to think so many silly things, and shouldn't she be having nobler thoughts in the last moments of her life?

"Maria!"

Albel grabs her arm. She has a sudden vision of his arm crumbling away, like the solid rock, at her touch. She throws out her other arm to ward him off, and is about to scream when he calls her name again.

"Maria!" He pulls her up onto the ledge. She falls onto it with relief, pushing her palms against the blessedly solid stone, truly solid.

She looks like she's about to cry.

He looks wild.

She pushes herself up into a crouch. "Sorry. I almost forgot I have to get you off this backwater planet." She laughs bitterly.

"Don't laugh." He says. He drops his head forward, so that his face is obscured behind his hair. "Don't laugh."

She breathes deeply and looks up. She can see the shuttle now, not for away. Tentatively she holds a hand out to Albel. "Come on. We'll be back in time for supper."


	39. Something

"Are you awake?" She asks into the night.

"Aren't we always?"

She smiles. Silently she slips out of her bed and across the room to stand beside his bed.

After a moment, when she says nothing he asks, "What do you want?"

"I'm twenty two years old." She tells him. "I'll be twenty three soon, in a few weeks." She takes a deep breath. How to go on? How to say what she wants to say when her brain is telling her not to? Her stomach too, is yelling at her, pulling her forward, but her brain throws images at her, tells her no. Tells her what she really wants. She ignores it. "I've never… been with a man. I want…"

She trails off into silence again and he says nothing.

His right hand reaches out and finds her in the darkness and pulls her to him.

She is glad he says nothing.


	40. Cold

She is nothing like his wife.

For one, she smells different, like oil and gunpowder, machines, with only a faint smell of soap and shampoo. No smell of baking, no flowers in her hair, in her skin. No sweet feminine odor about her. And her body is smaller, more angular. Where his wife was all soft luxurious curves, easy to mould into, Maria is hard, her legs and belly muscular, her shoulders and knees bony and awkward, like her embrace.

And he can't get enough of her.

She hardly makes a sound under him, and her body is cold, freezing against his own skin that feels too hot. He tries to enfold her, to hold her as close as possible, as much for his own comfort as hers.

She shouldn't be so cold, but she never seems to warm up.


	41. She can't

She finds herself stopping work and waiting, when he goes away. Just waiting.

She hates it when she does that; like a dependant woman, like a useless damsel in distress or something. She can't be that.

That's why she doesn't tell him. She can't.

But when he goes away she finds herself wishing he didn't. Even if he just sat there, if he wasn't doing anything that would still be better. She feels better when he's nearby.

And she can't do that.


	42. Escape

**Haha. Albel and Maria both have sucky cooking skills.**

* * *

They finally receive an answer on the radio. Albel was out looking for food, so Maria was alone, still trying to fix the engine when she heard the crackle. She jumped to her feet, dropping tools all around in her haste to get to the radio.

It was a cargo ship, fifty thousand miles away that replied to the distress signal she had been sending out for weeks. She put down the receiver after a quick exchange, feeling light headed with happiness. Within hours now, they would be back in space, back where she belonged.

When Albel returned to the crash site she was perched on a rock above the shuttle swinging her legs through the air. She felt like a child – bright and innocent. She couldn't keep the smile from her face.

Albel stopped a few feet away from the ship and eyed her. He dropped the hare-like creature he had caught on the ground and waited. "Well?"

"There's a ship on its way here now." Maria answered, hardly able to even get the words out she was so happy. "We're saved.

Albel grinned. "Finally. I'm sick of crappy cooking."

Maria smiled even wider and Albel tried to match her enthusiasm, but he didn't feel it.


	43. Home

She smiles out at space like an old friend. He thinks, 'This really is her home,' and feel s a little jealous.

"You're Maria Traydor?" The captain had asked. "The Federation has had a notice out for you – how did you end up in a place like this?"

She had glanced at Albel, and he thought she might blame him, but instead she had blamed herself, blamed engine trouble. He snorted. Noble people and their stupid ideas about honor.

They're on their way to the nearest Federation Station, where Maria can get on a faster ship to get to HQ. When news of her reappearance got through to the Federation, they immediately ordered her there. At first she had frowned and looked worried, but now she looked happy again.

What was she thinking?


	44. Silent Night

They stayed in separate rooms, in different hallways. She didn't try to stop them from becoming separated this time. It didn't matter anymore.

He waited into the night, wondering, hoping she would come. She never did.

Alone in her room, she waited for the night to end. But night never really ends in space.

The room was completely black. She wished it wasn't, so that she wouldn't feel so alone with her thoughts. It was strange, not to hear his breathing in the dark, to have nothing to distract her.

Going to headquarters meant seeing Fayt again, face to face. Sophia would be there too. Maria growled and buried her face in her pillow. How frustrating. How stupid.

"I don't want to go."

She figured she was in trouble, for running away again, even if that wasn't her intention this time. She certainly looked suspicious. She would get in trouble for the way she had handled things on Rezerb; they didn't support any kind of murder in the Federation. And she had destroyed a shuttle. Things didn't look good for her.

In her mind she went over the possibilities. She had killed several men that day on Rezerb. She could go to prison for that, or she could be exiled. There was always the chance that she wouldn't get in much trouble, because she was a hero once, but she couldn't see it happening, even in her imagination. This new Federation needed just a little corruption for her to make it out of this unscathed, and unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, the corruption just wasn't there.

Well, maybe Mirage would be there. She always had a way of making Maria feel safe, and sane. Almost normal. She could use the comfort.


	45. He can't

He waits but she never comes. He should have figured she wouldn't come; after all what does he mean to her, really?

He doesn't know.

He wants to know. He wants to go to her, if she won't come to him. He just wants to lie down next to her and hold her while he sleeps. That's all he wants, but he can't.

He can't.

He can't tell her he's lonely.


	46. Be With Me

"Why are you still here?" she asks. They are sitting in a room at headquarters, waiting to be sent in to see the council members. She is sitting on a bench opposite him; she had been silent for a long time before speaking.

"You're my pilot." He repeats. The old lie. Old and comfortable: automatic.

"You don't need me anymore – you can find and number of flights from here to take you anywhere in the galaxy. There's no reason for us to continue traveling together."

He shields his face, thinking. Her words hurt more than they should. He'd thought himself above that – safe. What right had she to be so cruel?

"I don't need you anymore." she says.

"You don't need me?" He asks. He walks across the room to glare down at her. As usual she meets his gaze, which only makes him want her more. "That's what it was about? You think it was all about you?"

"I can't pretend to know your reasons, but I know myself. I needed to get it out of my system, so I used you. It didn't even have to be you. It could have been anyone; you were just convenient." She looks at the door, waiting for it to open. Waiting for _him._ "I was just using you, so leave. Just leave. Forget it ever happened if you like; I think I'll do the same. Pretend it was all a dream…"

He growls and walks to the other door, back the way they came. But there he turns, thinking to go back, if only to give her a piece of his mind. Maybe tell her his reasons, yell at her for being callous. She has no right to assume that because she doesn't care, he feels the same. She has no right.

She doesn't even notice him turn; she is intent, staring at the door. He turns and walks away. He would have let her use him, if only he could go with her, if only he didn't have to see that faraway look in her eyes and know that she wasn't with him at all.

She wasn't ever really with him was she?


	47. Deserve to be

She had been afraid, when he turned back at the door, that she would lose what little control she had over herself and would run to him and tell him it was all a lie, tell him she was sorry. She was afraid she would cry. But he didn't move, and somehow she kept still too, until he was gone.

Somehow she didn't cry, even after he'd gone. It wouldn't do to appear before her superiors in tears. She must appear strong. She would not repent.

She didn't want him to get involved. As strange as it sounded, in this instance, Albel was an innocent.

And besides, what was the point of involving him? It was her decision, her life. It was what she wanted, to make her own choices. She wondered now, why she had ever wanted such a thing, when the choices she made hurt like this.

The door opened and she stood, alone. She deserved to be alone. It was better this way, safer for everyone. She was doing everyone a favor really, by staying away.

She could never have deserved his love anyway.


	48. Waiting

Waiting is the worst part.

She had figured on being punished but it seemed she had still hoped not to be, that some part of her still thought she wouldn't be punished because when they told her she would be judged she had felt like her stomach was falling while she stood still.

The evidence was presented – not very publicly. They said it was out of respect for her, and so that the world need never know that their hero was a murderer. She found that very hypocritical of them, of everyone. What hero is not a murderer?

At the last, she was given a chance to speak, before they decided her fate. It would be prison or exile – that much was certain. She had stood on the stand and asked for exile. Her friends present had looked surprised, all except Mirage. She had looked at Mirage, and the Klausian woman had smiled at her, quietly, sadly. Maria almost cried then, but instead she walked off the stand.

And now she waited.


	49. Anything Better

How he hated everything around him. The people were all stupid, useless worms; pathetic excuses for human beings – the human ones anyway. Once, he knew the strange extraterrestrial beings would have intrigued him at least, but now they looked the same as all the others to him. Hateful.

He looked out the window into infinite space, and saw nothing that enticed him. Out there were infinite possibilities, but what did that matter to him? He wanted…

No more. He was going to forget. He was going as far away as possible, and there he would forget everything that had happened. He could be a mercenary, and do what he loved for a living. He could forget, and it would be better.

Anything would be better than this.


	50. Safe

"What have you done now?"

Maria looked up at Mirage, standing in the doorway between two guards. She managed a weak smile before it slipped away completely. It didn't feel like it would ever be coming back.

"I don't think I'll be able to get myself out of this one."

Mirage sat on the cot next to Maria, but didn't touch her. She understood. "Why are you really sad?" Mirage asked.

"I sent him away." Maria answered. "I lied, Mirage. Not only am I a murderer; I'm a liar."

Mirage held out a handkerchief to Maria. No one else in the developed galaxy still used a handkerchief but Mirage – that was why Maria loved her. Everything about her was easy and accepting. No one else made her feel comfortable like Mirage did.

Maria shook her head and sniffed. "How stupid am I? I'm going to be exiled, or sent to prison, for murdering the leader of an empire – all that destruction I caused, and all I can think about is the way I treated… him."

"You love him." Mirage said. It wasn't a question; it was just what Maria need to be told, so that she could realize it.

Maria looked into Mirage's eyes. "What have I done?"

"You've done nothing wrong Maria. You are still a good person. Nothing will ever change that."

"You give me too much credit." Maria mumbled. She held out the handkerchief to Mirage, who took it back and folded it neatly before putting it back in her pocket. Maria noticed the way it didn't fold like a proper handkerchief would – more like metal. "I suck."

"Love makes fools of us all." Mirage said, but Maria didn't believe it. She couldn't believe there was anything that could make Mirage look foolish.

"What does Cliff think about all this?" Maria asked. She didn't want to talk about love anymore. "I haven't really had a chance to talk to him."

Mirage shrugged. "What do you think? He wants to break you out of here. He keeps saying how stupid what they're doing is – that you're practically a saint. He doesn't understand."

But Mirage understood. She knew how much easier it would be for Maria to live alone, to leave. "Do you think they'll do as I asked?"

"I think so. You're a hero – they'll take that into consideration when deciding."

Maria nodded. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall. Mirage was quiet, but Maria could still feel her there, radiating calm. Making her feel safe.


	51. A Terrible Thing

He couldn't forget.

One year he had spent wandering, taking whatever jobs came his way, learning to live in space, learning to become one of them. One year he had spent, thinking about her every night.

He couldn't decide if he hated her, or loved her. Or if he was just angry that she had insulted him. He was known to hold grudges, wasn't he?

He went out drinking that night, to celebrate and forget the one year anniversary of their separation. One thing he appreciated out here was the seemingly endless variety of alcohol. Hundreds and thousands of ways to lose your mind.

He half heard the TV screens as he drank. A big newsbreak, a leak in government information, some trial that was supposed to be secret leaking out into the public – garbage. How could anyone get excited over these things?

"It's a terrible thing they've done, hiding this from the people." A man nearby said loudly, talking to his half-asleep neighbor. "How can we ever be expected to trust them after this?"

"That's not the worst part at all." His neighbor answered. "What's worse is who it was. Have you heard?" Albel looked up and tried to get the attention of the barkeep while the man spoke on. "She's a hero all over the galaxy! I heard the church had considered sainting her."

"How could she be a saint if she's a murderer?"

"Well they're not going to do it anymore obviously! Idiot. I'm just saying… It's a terrible thing."

"That's what I was saying."

Albel gulped down his drink, trying to block out the two men. The problem with bars was the people who frequented them. All of them: morons.

He put down the empty glass and stood up. He wasn't hardly drunk enough, but there was no way he was going to stay here while those two blabbered on. He would do better sleeping the night away. At least, while he was sleeping he could almost forget.


	52. Dust

"Albel." She whispered, her lips parted invitingly. She waited for him; she wanted him, only him. It was his name on her lips, no others. And when he held her she smiled and whispered into his ear.

And was dust.

"Maria." He wakes up alone. He doesn't know where he is, only that it's not with her.

He's sick of this pining. It doesn't suit him at all. It's starting to annoy him. He dresses and walks out into the street. This planet is covered in dust. The people call themselves cowboys – space cowboys. This place suits him.

News takes a long time to reach them out here. By the time it arrives it's usually too old to matter anymore, but what use is news of the galaxy in this place anyway? The only people who care about news are the women who stay at home, and the old people who sit out on porches everyday. It's gossip, that's all.

But this news is everywhere. It's on everyone's mind, in everyone's ear. He had ignored it before, but he could hardly avoid it forever if he intended to speak to anyone. And he had no choice in that.

"Morning sir." Said an old man as he walked past. "You hear the news." Albel waved him away.

"The people's hero a murderer! The government suspect! Read all about it!" Yelled the newsboy, running around selling newspapers.

"Have you heard about the girl?" asked his contact over breakfast. Albel got all his jobs through the woman, since he had arrived here.

"No. And I don't care to."

She shook her head. "You shouldn't refuse information boy. It's more valuable than you know."

"How can this news be valuable to me?" Albel snarled.

"There are a good many people that this interests. You might even get a job through it. Plenty of crazies out there interested in saving the princess."

Albel snorted. "Fine. Tell me."

In response, the woman slid a paper across the table to him. She sipped her coffee as he read.

"Maria."

"Ain't no one in the civilized galaxy as doesn't know that name. It's a powerful name she's got – Maria Traydor. If you could save her, you could stir up a whole lotta trouble."

"Where is she?"

The woman blinked at him. "Why're you so interested all of a sudden? I thought you didn't care."

"I'm curious. The woman who saved the universe in exile? It's a funny story anyway."


	53. Still Alive

Why am I still alive? Why do I bother waking up in the morning and eating and breathing and living? It makes no difference if I'm alive or dead down here, nothing changes.

I feel empty. Maybe that's why I go on; because I've been emptied of everything but the basic instincts keeping me alive.

It's funny; since I've been emptied of emotions I haven't broken or altered anything. I guess I've figured out what was wrong with me, not that it makes any difference down here, all alone.

I hate being alone. I love being alone.

How much harder would this be with someone else?

I don't think I could do it. If there was someone here I wouldn't be able to empty myself like this and just carry on. I'd be aware and I don't think I could do it.

What if he was here?

I don't allow myself to think it. To imagine it. It's too hard. He's gone and he's never coming back. Never. He doesn't even know where I am.

And yet… there's still a part of me that is waiting.

Waiting is the worst part.


	54. Better Late

**Albel has all the best lines in the game.**

* * *

When he went to Mirage she didn't seem surprised to see him at all. If anything she seemed as though she had been waiting for him, and he was late.

But he was there.

"It won't be easy." She told him. "In fact it will be next to impossible. You have to get past several satellite outposts, the battleships stationed nearby, any air traffic that might happen to be nearby. There have already been several attempts to retrieve her and all have failed. Anything heading that way is turned back, or destroyed."

Albel grinned. "It sounds like a worthy challenge."


	55. What the Hell

There's a spaceship in my sky.

That can't be right. No spaceship is allowed in my sky. They're not allowed anywhere near it. That's what exile is all about.

So why is there a spaceship in my sky?

As I stand and watch, it falls toward the ground. Now I know something is wrong. What the hell is a ship doing on my planet?

And what the hell is this hopeful feeling doing in my chest?


	56. Found

**Well I'm embarrassed.**

* * *

"Who are you?" She asks, pointing a gun at his head. He thinks, 'Why would they give a gun to a woman in exile?' and almost laughs at how stupid the thought is, at a moment like this.

"Has the isolation driven you crazy woman?"

"It can't be you." She says desperately. Something in her voice gives her away, makes him think that maybe he is someone to her after all, just like Mirage told him. "You can't know I'm here. I mean, he can't know. So who are you? What do you want?" She is yelling; her voice shakes. So do her hands, holding up the gun. He's never seen her hands shake.

Albel shrugs, trying to act casual, trying to act as though his chest doesn't feel like it's being crushed. "I just thought you wouldn't like being cooped up on one planet for the rest of your life. And Mirage told me you're a liar."

Her eyes widen in surprise, but she immediately narrows them again in a glare, still refusing to believe. "Mirage? What did you do to her?"

"Stop it! You know it's me!" He yells. How much longer can he be expected to put up with this nonsense from her? "Stop wasting my time."

"Stop playing with my feelings!" She yells. "Why would you come?"

He says nothing. He can't say it; it's too embarrassing. What would she think?

"I can't pretend anymore." She says quietly. "I couldn't sleep without you. I can't…"

He walks towards her, ignoring the gun pointed at his chest. She looks up at him, terrified. She shouldn't be afraid of him, not ever. He puts his arms around her, as gently as he knows how. She no longer smells so much of machines, or of soap. He can feel her shoulder blades through the fabric of her shirt, and her shoulders shaking, and her heart beating, pounding at her chest. It wants to be inside him.

That's what she whispered.

"I just want to feel normal again."

"I just need to be near you please."

"I don't need you to say it. I don't need you to say anything."

And he says nothing.

"I didn't think you'd come. I didn't think you cared."

"Don't think that." He says. "Never think that."

His eyes feel strange; his cheeks are wet. Are these tears? But no, they can't be. Albel Nox does not cry. He can't let her see that she's done this to him; this at least he can't let her know. So he holds her closer.


	57. Love Story

If I could I would write you a love story. It would be a story about the stars and the souls of the dead, who never really leave us. A story about gods and heroes, and the impossible hope that in the end, everything will turn out ok. It would be a sad story, because of the loneliness of space, because every planet is an island, and there is distance between us all.

If I wrote you a love story it would be full of silences and waiting. Waiting for sleep, waiting for you. It would be a story about beauty – the moon reflecting off the water, the infinite embrace of the universe, your eyes.

It would be a story about stupid lies, and how we hurt each other. How I hurt you. It would be a story about years wasted, and tears, and how hard it is to forget, how much harder it is to remember, and live.

But most of all, about hope.

If I could, I would write you a love story so true that you would see yourself in it, you would see us. And I would say, "You are perfect." And you would believe me.

If I could, I would write you a love story and I would sign it: "I love you."

If I could.

I don't think we'll ever be good with words.

THE END


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